after all my confusions a part of it has ended. it hurts a lot once again but maybe i can get through this the same as how and what i did in the past. like i keep on telling myself now that i will and want to focus on the present. i could remember some in the past but most i don't.
it is true that communication is the best foundation of any relationship. you can talk and express what you feel, you will feel numbness, butterfly in your stomach, you will have cold feet and your heart beats so fast but eventually you will learn to embrace it and accept that there were really things that is not really meant to be yours. i felt that pain once again and honestly i don't want to go back that kind of pain, moments and memories. i am in my worst moment in my life those times and i don't want that anymore now, today and tomorrow.
everytime i read all of them, every word confused me but my heart don't because i feel the cold feet, the butterflies in my stomach and everything. i surpassed that feeling and i felt free now. somehow it's clear and gave me a reason not to think of anything except of what will come ahead of me. i am learning a lot of things everyday and there were also things i don't want to such as talking too much or having a conversation personally. i just want life to be simple. no complications.
today and now again life will begin. its like the same year i lost her. i will start from scratch and they say beginning is always the hardest but its the best way. i learn not to get mad about love because i understand that there are really things that no matter you want it if its not for you then its not. and there will always be this one person who will love you for who you are and never leave you no matter what will happen. one day i'm hoping she will come and i will finally meet her, again.
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